Well, it had to happen. Eventually I was going to lose my shit and spend an entire blog post complaining and now, for your reading pleasure, here it is:
The first thing I would like to raise with some displeasure is a phenomenon I like to refer to as home-extracurricular-activitying. As you know, it's school holidays at present, so we are not required to home school our kids. But, stepping into the gap have been at least two of Miss9's outside school activities. We are being sent emails and links with activities and challenges that our child is expected to do if she is to keep up with ... well, no naming and shaming. But the point is 1. it's school holidays and these activities never run in school holidays and 2. when we are out of school holidays, there is no way in all of the world that I can home school and home extracurricular-activity and somehow continue doing my demanding full-time job from home. I am sure there is love behind this. They have pictured us parents at home with nothing to do to entertain our kids, and have sent some ideas - albeit in the form of (essentially) requirements. And it's not just about getting Miss9 to read an email from her teacher and then do what it says. Most tasks require at least that your child wear appropriate clothing, and use some kind of technological link-up - which your child generally can't do without some parental assistance. If, in the absence of their fun, enthusiastic teacher, your child is reluctant to complete the activity, it's on you to make them do it. One group has requested that each of Miss9's tasks are videoed and then sent in to them. Which means I have to try and find a corner of this house that isn't covered in mess and clutter and film her there. Come on people - please, give us a break. I, for one, am not going to ask for a refund for the classes that were cancelled because of the pandemic. And I don't think many other parents would either. I will re-enrol Miss9 next term and I will pay you for the full term, because I don't want you to struggle to pay your teachers, or to worry about how you'll pay your rent. But please, for the love of God, at least leave us alone in the holidays. And, maybe, when the holidays end and I have to become a school teacher/teaching assistant as well as a what-I-do-for-a-day-job, maybe I will somehow by then have worked out how to survive on 4 hours sleep so I can run her extracurricular activities too. I suppose I should be grateful that I haven't yet heard from her swim school... "Hi! We don't want Miss9's swimming skills and confidence to suffer because of this situation, so we've put together a programme of activities for her to complete at home! [Always with an exclamation mark] You're going to need to be creative but we know that, as parents, you will be happy to do that for your precious kids. [Nice dollop of guilt for good measure. Well - do you love your kid or not?] Now, please proceed to the bathroom and fill up the bath..."
Second, these people I live with are lazy slobs. Seriously. I head down to my "office" first thing in the morning and they're all still in bed, which is fine. But when I come up again after my shift, it would be so lovely if, say, the breakfast dishes were done, and the blinds were up, and some windows open to let in fresh air. It would be nice if someone had perhaps started to think about lunch, so I didn't have to directly transition from work to kitchen. It would be a neat bonus if someone else had put on a wash, or put clothes in the drier, in all the 5 hours I was working. The children have chores - very few - but somehow, these are never done without my nagging. And, even then, seldom actually completed. Am I the only one who can see that the kitchen floor needs sweeping? That it would take 5 minutes of tidying for us to be able to see the top of the coffee table again? That there is a limit to how many damp plastic containers can be literally thrown into the plastics cupboard before the whole fucken lot comes crashing out on the feet of the next person to open the door??? Am I the only one who understands that close enough is not good enough when it comes to shutting the fridge door? It has taken five and a half days of lockdown, plus two days of getting ready for lockdown (which we also spent at home), for me to lose my shit. I'm not sure if that's a number to be proud of or not. I have been an ice queen for the last 2 hours. Passive aggression has oozed from my every pore. I have even teenaged some of my actions - slamming cupboards and drawers. Everyone, except the dog, is now aware that I am well pissed off. Husband is so concerned he's actually out the back mowing the lawn right now, though that will not save him. Too little, too late. I will shortly announce that we are having a long-overdue family meeting tonight and I will be laying down the law. Stand by.
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Ok - so we had our family meeting. The children were presented with lists of tasks they must complete before any screen time is allowed. Then another task before lunch. I'll add to the lists tomorrow so they know what they have to do before dinner. They were pretty worried till they actually saw the items on the list - they are relatively easy tasks but they'll make a difference to me. For example, TeenSon has to eat breakfast. He's often too lazy to do so and it makes him even more grumpy than usual. So, from now on - breakfast first, then screen. Miss9 has to bring her dirty washing all the way down to the laundry - as against leaving it halfway down the stairs (which I never understood anyway - did her pants suddenly quadruple in weight so she could no longer lift them?). TeenSon has to complete his regular chore (folding and delivering washing) before screen each morning. Miss9 likewise with her regular chore (empty dishwasher).
And then, later, words with Husband. I am not the family servant. Like everything else, housework - tidying and cleaning - needs to be 50/50.
Let's see if it sticks.
Meantime, Miss9 and I have ambitions. Guess what task we have set for ourselves during lockdown? Watch all the Marvel films in chronological order. Except the shit ones (like Ironman 2, Ironman 3, and The Incredible Hulk). More activities that won't be going on Pinterest! Ah well.
Memes of the day:
